Your children made the choices they made. Why do yo feel guilt over it? You couldn’t have prevented them from becoming alcoholics…sorry for your loss, but you beating yourself up over it is a waste of time and emotion.
A parent should raise a child the best they can, but ultimately the child (as they grow up) makes their own choices and decisions and it is out of the parent’s hands.
You have to forgive yourself, you have done the best you can, these things happen no matter how hard you try to stop them.
Please do not beat yourself up, you can only warn your children, but at the end of the day they will live life as they choose.
You must be living in a lot of pain having lost one child and now worrying your self so much about the other. Is there no one you can speak to to unburden yourself? It would help you so much.
I hope and pray you will find a solution.
i would suggest going to ala-non meetings near u…..they r really helpful and they will know exactly where u are coming from. however in the mean time……u can lead the horse to the water but u cant make him drink. u did ur job as a parent and led them in the right direction. what they do from there on out…..its not ur doing. they then have to b the ones that take responsibilty for themselves. also, if they are going to drink……they are going to drink. there is nothing in the whole wide world that u can do to stop them. they have to want to get the help themselves. u are only going to wear urself out trying. u can give ur advice if they ask but when it comes down to it…..they have to want to get sober. tough love is sometimes the best love of all. they may not understand y you wont help them out (money wise, giving them a ride ect.) but the more u help them the more u are enabling them from making the decision for help. sometimes they have to hit rock bottom b4 they see it. i am soooo sorry for ur loss. i wish u all the best.
Death happens, dying young is normal, don’t blame yourself, living to 80-100 years old ain’t all that fun anyway. Try to get your kid into something she likes and enjoys other than drinking. i’m a alcoholic but i only drink 4-6 beers in a day, i don’t like too but it’s hard to stop.
Alcoholism is a real disease and greatly misunderstood. I am sorry for the loss of your child. Unfortunately with alcoholism they have to want the help. Sure you can be instrumental in getting them into rehab but if they don’t want to quit drinking they wont. It will be a constant struggle for the rest of their life not to drink. The best thing you can do is be there for them when they need you but don’t be an enabler.
Vicki, there is nothing to be forgiven, as you did not have a hand in his death. All we can do is raise our kids the best we can, and hope they remember what we taught them, when they grow up and are on their own. At that time, they have to become responsible for themselves. We can go on and on trying to help them, but if they don’t make the right choices themselves, there is little more we can do. It’s sad, but that’s the way it is.
I hope your daughter learns from her brother’s death, and turns her life around.
I’m sorry for your loss and understand why you are afraid of losing your daughter. You can teach your children all about drinking but they are still going to do what they want to do. Believe me I know. I don’t drink but my son’s father did and I tried to teach my son that this is no good if you can’t control it. I thought after seeing everything that I went through because of alcoholism in the family that he wouldn’t drink but it didn’t work out that way. My son drinks and I keep praying for him all the time. I have him on some prayer requests too. Good luck with your daughter. I will say a prayer for both of you.
Remember you’ll miss your son every day of your life but you can’t keep blaming yourself .
send her to rehab.
You have to forgive yourself. Living the rest of your life in misery won’t bring your child back. Be strong and get help for your daughter.
Your children made the choices they made. Why do yo feel guilt over it? You couldn’t have prevented them from becoming alcoholics…sorry for your loss, but you beating yourself up over it is a waste of time and emotion.
A parent should raise a child the best they can, but ultimately the child (as they grow up) makes their own choices and decisions and it is out of the parent’s hands.
You have to forgive yourself, you have done the best you can, these things happen no matter how hard you try to stop them.
Please do not beat yourself up, you can only warn your children, but at the end of the day they will live life as they choose.
You must be living in a lot of pain having lost one child and now worrying your self so much about the other. Is there no one you can speak to to unburden yourself? It would help you so much.
I hope and pray you will find a solution.
i would suggest going to ala-non meetings near u…..they r really helpful and they will know exactly where u are coming from. however in the mean time……u can lead the horse to the water but u cant make him drink. u did ur job as a parent and led them in the right direction. what they do from there on out…..its not ur doing. they then have to b the ones that take responsibilty for themselves. also, if they are going to drink……they are going to drink. there is nothing in the whole wide world that u can do to stop them. they have to want to get the help themselves. u are only going to wear urself out trying. u can give ur advice if they ask but when it comes down to it…..they have to want to get sober. tough love is sometimes the best love of all. they may not understand y you wont help them out (money wise, giving them a ride ect.) but the more u help them the more u are enabling them from making the decision for help. sometimes they have to hit rock bottom b4 they see it. i am soooo sorry for ur loss. i wish u all the best.
Death happens, dying young is normal, don’t blame yourself, living to 80-100 years old ain’t all that fun anyway. Try to get your kid into something she likes and enjoys other than drinking. i’m a alcoholic but i only drink 4-6 beers in a day, i don’t like too but it’s hard to stop.
Alcoholism is a real disease and greatly misunderstood. I am sorry for the loss of your child. Unfortunately with alcoholism they have to want the help. Sure you can be instrumental in getting them into rehab but if they don’t want to quit drinking they wont. It will be a constant struggle for the rest of their life not to drink. The best thing you can do is be there for them when they need you but don’t be an enabler.
Vicki, there is nothing to be forgiven, as you did not have a hand in his death. All we can do is raise our kids the best we can, and hope they remember what we taught them, when they grow up and are on their own. At that time, they have to become responsible for themselves. We can go on and on trying to help them, but if they don’t make the right choices themselves, there is little more we can do. It’s sad, but that’s the way it is.
I hope your daughter learns from her brother’s death, and turns her life around.
I’m sorry for your loss and understand why you are afraid of losing your daughter. You can teach your children all about drinking but they are still going to do what they want to do. Believe me I know. I don’t drink but my son’s father did and I tried to teach my son that this is no good if you can’t control it. I thought after seeing everything that I went through because of alcoholism in the family that he wouldn’t drink but it didn’t work out that way. My son drinks and I keep praying for him all the time. I have him on some prayer requests too. Good luck with your daughter. I will say a prayer for both of you.
Remember you’ll miss your son every day of your life but you can’t keep blaming yourself .