Apropos of yet another bad-news late-night phone call, I’m wondering what can be done for somebody who’s not addicted to drugs at all, but, once every month or two, will get drunk beyond the point of reason (the drinking falls under the category of “problem” and “impossible to solve” and “low priority in light of the drugs”) and disappear on a cocaine/crack bender for 12-48hours.
He comes home minus hundreds of dollars, a mess emotionally and physically, and hangs out with the worst sorts of people in the worst sorts of places when he’s gone. Relationships and finances are suffering, never mind health.
He was arrested during one of these benders a little while back; his court problems are still pending, and I’m amazed that he’s done it again while in so much trouble. This isn’t a complete screw-up; this is a well-educated fellow with a good career (and employers that might frown on this if they found out).
He’s been ‘getting away’ with it for _years_. But…
EVERY drug treatment program I’ve seen is designed for actual addicts, not people prone to occasional benders. There’s no point in trying to treat a non-existent physical addiction.
They also seem to fall into two categories: those for street people, and those for the very wealthy. Nothing useful is going to be gained _here_ by a program that teaches stuff like how to pay one’s rent and take baths, but even if there was the money for those “sober up on the beach in South America in our luxurious compound…” sort of $20k vacation treatments, I have a hard time believing they’re effective. And, again, both are for addicts.
He has a kid (1st) on the way, so sobering up is critical. He wants to, & tells his friends he’s done with the cocaine; things look great for a period — right up until when he disappears.
If he cannot stop once and for all, he’s an addict, sorry. It is affecting his life, health and finances, that’s an addict.
He needs a drug treatment program and support from all of his good, loving friends like you.
If you still have trouble believing he is an addict, follow the link below maybe it will help.
Good luck
i feel for both this fellow and yourself, i am an alcoholic and my addiction was not 24/7 it was bingeing every 4/6 weeks and i would black out for almost a week at a time, then i would come round sort myself out, put on some lippy and life to me seemed normal again. But not my family, it wasn’t until i had found rock bottom that got the help i needed from the AA, who i know will try their best to also help people with drug abuse if ass with alcohol. The issue here for your fellow is that he wants to run away and hide from something deep down which only he knows is the problem and only he can sort out in his own head. To me no amount of rehab will do this or psychological help until he know what it is and tell the truth to himself before he tells others!!! Good luck.
,nothing will happen unless he wants to stop, the cycle will continue until a true friend wakes him up to the reality of his problem i hope you keep the idiot off the road so he dont hurt a Innocent victim
LOL! I’ve got news for you. It’s not what you drink, or how often you drink – it’s what it does to you when you drink. Alcoholism is drinking that effects your life. Social drinkers don’t have friends that ask this question. Binge drinking is alcoholism. Period. And MOST alcoholics are able to hold jobs and have degrees. (I suggest that you attend and Open AA meeting. Closed meetings are for alcoholics only. Open means anyone can come.) You will be surprised at what you see. Gone are the days that alcoholism was defined by sleeping under a bridge, homeless and drunk everday by 9am. What can you do? Don’t enable him. That includes helping him out of any mess he gets himself into. Refuse to speak to him when he is drunk. Set up an intervention with people that love and care about him where you tell him what his drinking is doing to you. And DO NOT tell him that he isn’t an addict. He is. And he is telling himself he doesn’t have a problem, the least helpful thing that you can do is help him believe that. Interventions can be helpful especially for binge drinkers. The idea is that alcoholics need to hit bottom in order to get sober. That can take years. At an intervention, the family and friends bring the “bottom” up to the alcoholic. It is usually the worst day of their life. When everyone stops BSing and tells it like it is. They are forced to see reality for the first time in a long time. And they are given an ultimatum by their friends and family – get sober or they are cut out of their lives. There is a show on A&E called Intervention – it’s a good one – you should watch it. Ala-non is a support group for friends and families of alcoholics. This is a great place to go for more information and how to help or how not to help an alcoholic.
Good luck.