My good friend is an admitted alcoholic who argues alcohol makes him feel relaxed, happy and sobriety does not. The problem is he has not remained sober for more than a couple weeks (not enough time in my opinion for a serious drinker to lessen the overwhelming urge to drink)
It will help if you could go to a couple of AlAnon* meetings. They will tell you that you can’t change an alcoholic. A person has to want to make that decision on his or her own. I had to go to a few NarcAnon meetings to get that message about my (then) husband.
* in case you don’t know, AlAnon and NarcAnon are for friends and relatives of alcoholics and addicts
you can’t –
any person with an addiction has to reach the point of wanting to get sober (for themselves) its the only way
you can talk – argue – plead – beg – promise or fight with them
nothing will convince them until they are ready
they might give in if you pressure them long enough or hard enough – BUT – it will not last –
they have to want it for themselves
**** there is also the sad reality that some addicts will never reach that point either – that their addiction will end their life before they reach that point
you cant convince anyone of anything, they have to find out for themselves.
You don’t. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. Obviously his addiction is still working for him. It’s also clear he has some emotional issues to deal with as it sounds like he’s using the alcohol as an emotional and mental anaesthetic. So initially sobriety will probably bring anything but happiness, I think maybe the focus should be on healing rather than happiness. One will, however, eventually lead to the other.
I know this must be hard for you. As his friend all you can do is support and encourage him. Has he tried AA? Has he spoken to his Dr? Does he know this addiction will eventually kill him?
Ultimately, it has to be his choice to change. Until then nothing will sober him up.
why don’t you challenge him to a bet,
you go on the grog for a week with him,then have a week without drink.
Hopefully he will see the light and hopefully you won’t join him!!