the girl he is seeing is only 16, and recently left home because she felt her parent were too strict, now she is out almost every night and is drinking and doing cocaine I dont see any potential in her she calls when she needs a ride to work or to a friends house, I keep telling him she is bad news but he seems to not be able to let go, says he loves her
If he is living in your house, you can tell him anything you want to. If he is not living in your house, you may tell him and hope he listens.
You have no right to control his life, but you have a right to control what money you will give him, and the advice you offer.
No, I am afraid not. He is not going to listen, if she is not the one, he will find out soon enough for himself. There is nothing you can do.
Your son will learn the hard way that when he thinks he is helping her, she is taking him to her level.
you have to trust him if he loves her, i think you need to give him more freedom in choosing who he can date and who he can’t date, but i think you should also keep an eye on him and make sure he’s ok. Also, try talking to him about it a little bit more. I’m sure things will get better. ♥ Good Luck! ♥
Talk to him about Statutory Rape charges that could be filed down the line after he’s 18.
You can’t really order him not to see her without pushing him away from you. Yes, if he’s still living in your house, you can be a tyrant and dictate his entire life. . . but that’s just going to push him out faster.
Tell him how you feel, in a loving and concerned way, not a critical one. Also, if possible, talk to him about safe sex so he hopefully won’t be tied to her for life. However, at his age, you need to let him start making his own mistakes.
He’s hitting that, and the sex is just too good.
That’s the only reason I could see for a guy to stay in that situation.
i think you should tell your son what you think and leave him to make his own decision. the independence will make him feel like hes in charge, but you may be able to influence his decisions more.
She is bad news, I know it may be hard but tell him to leave her or you will kick him out, because she will only lead to bad things, i.e. drugs!
Tell he to be very careful. She is underage and if she decides to say they “did it” he could be in alot of trouble. Also does he know that in alot of states if she is in the car and has drugs on her and he is stopped by the police they can confiscate the car and he’ll never see it again. They will auction it off. I had a friend who this happened to and he had a one year old Corvette and lost it but still had to pay for it. All because of a girl who had drugs in his car.
No, he is of age. You can let him know that if he keeps it up you will report both ot them to the cops and he will be at risk of bieng arrested or statutory rape or molestation. There are laws against anybody over 18 with someone 16. Other than that unless HER parents step in and report them there isn’t much you can do.
It may be extreme and he will probably get very pissed, possibly stop talking to you for a while, but it may be the only way to get him away from this girl.
wow, this girl does sound like bad news, but you have to see her through you’re son’s eyes. you could suggest to break up, but if he truly loves her, you can’t stop it. without the drinking and cocaine, she may seem like a nice girl, especially to your son. try talking to her or her parents. she may be a different kind of person than you would expect.
You can tell him what to do, who to see etc even when he’s 45 or 60… That of course doesn’t mean he’ll listen. Pick your battles…. trying to force things on him will only distance the 2 of you…. besides when he’s 18…. he’s legally an adult. Try a subtle approach to parenting then….
No, but you can call the cops on her if you think she is in possession of drugs. That will put her butt in jail and get her out of your hair.
You can’t control him anymore, but you are his mother. You will always want whats best for him and you can’t help that. All you can do is tell him that you are concerned, you love him and you want the best for him. If he still lives with you, you are in charge of who can come over, but thats about it. Sounds like you have reason to be concerned, hopefully he’ll see that soon, but he has to make that decision on his own.
Good Luck!
I have 2 children-an almost to turn 21 years old this month and a 13 year old one. I am still not sure as to what is the correct way in anything. However, I believe that it is always important to, in what could be the best time/moment (for you to guess or find out), advise our children what the correct way of doing things are and what are the positive and negative consecuences of each action or choice, specially when there are minors involved. It is also important to use “graphic” examples as to what would be the benefits of dealing with positive, educated, drug-free, supportive, etc. people and the other way around.
Truly, the journey is extremely hard and nothing in life is a warranty. In any which way you can, it is important for you to try to spend the most time with him and find ways of “driving” him towards other activities.
A rainbow of good wishes for you all….
well i don’t know if this will help you or not, I have three boys of my own and know first hand that no matter whether you like who they are involved with or not they will always follow what they feel is in there heart , and trying to tell them someone is not right for them or forcing them to let go generally back fires, If your son has a good head on his shoulders and seems to be doing what hes suppose to do then my guess is he will see her destructive ways and slowly separate himself from her he will eventually get tired of being a taxi for her and if he isn’t joining her with the drinking and the drugs she will move on to someone that will. but if at all possible it should be his idea and not forced by you to let go.
Best thing to do is tell him that you love him, but don’t want to see him get hurt. He’s 18, so you can’t tell him what he can and can’t do. Also if you push to hard, he could easily move out. If you know where this girl hangs out, you can call the cops on her, explain to them that she’s under age, that she is known to drink and do drugs. You can do all of this without your son knowing, just make sure that your son isn’t there when the cops shows up. That would keep him from going to jail with her if she’s caught. This needs to stop before she gets him onto drugs.
Good Luck with your son.