Question by Lala: my boyfriend is in Narcotics Anonymous & it seems real shaky?
i had to photograph an artist & didnt tell my BF bcz i want to keep it to myself & focus. i didnt feel like answering ?’s comments. he ask if i’m taking nude shots. i said no, the guy sings. i told him i didnt want him to go with me bcz its a drinking crowd & he’s in the NA program. he can pick me up when i’m done. i told him what time the show starts & ends. but it didnt go that way. the show started 2 hrs late. i texted to let him know what’s going on. i ask if he felt comfortable in the club so we can be 2gether he said “no way”. then he showed up surprisingly. he got mad bcz my coat was on a chair with the artist’s coat. then he left bcz he didnt want to be around drinkers. he pick me up, he was mad & jealous & making comments that suggested “i go be with that guy” & other jealous stuff that made the night worse. we wanted to be 2gether but i had biz to do. The night ended with us breaking up. I know he’s in recovery but he was also JEALOUS. What was I supposed to do?
Best answer:
Answer by *~*Super Star*~*
leave him alone. he needs time to deal with his drug problem and it seems like he’s not quite done with that yet. and if he’s in NA the first thing they tell you is to no have a girlfriend or boyfriend because they can hender the procress not that you would give him drugs or anything but like you said you didn’t want him at the club and he didn’t want to go but he showed up anyways. so that still shows that he can’t control himself. I’d give him time to get his habit fully under control.
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honey i have been in a relationship wth an ex addict and it is one of the most hardest things in life to deal with. besides that wether or not there was drinking he should have never acted like that jeolousy is the first sign of control. he should be happy when you work not mad. i would really reconsider if its even worth all the hassle! good luck sweetie!!
You did all you could do.
He’s got issues and he’s getting the help he needs in NA.
Your situation will make it harder for you to keep a boyfriend. Guys don’t like to have their girlfriends photograph and hang out with other guys who are more successful than them.
you have to understand that finding your way into NA is difficult enough, and that these people try to stay away from anyhtign and everythign that will trigger old habits. Hes scared, and you going to a place that he stays away from, with another guy, even if it is work, makes him uncomfortable. Knowing that he is in NA, your best bet would have been to say from the begining that he was welcome to come with, but that you dont want him to have triggering feelings, so its his call, and he can leave whenever he wants. I know that a lot of times, id rather be invited and decline than not be invited at all, even if the person knew id decline. does that make sense? Hes just feeling jealous because he is thinking that you are going to a bar type of place, where he stays away from, and he doesnt wnat you to want a guy that can go there instead of him…so thats another concern of his…most likely. im going to say that…yes he was insecure and it is annoying to have a jealous boyfriend…but you need to put yourself in his shoes and just look at how this looked and felt for him.