Question by Yo!: brother coming off of drugs and not thinking straight, any advice?
my little brother is 17 and started smoking weed at 14, then recently started experimenting with coke, crack, ex, mushrooms and meth. He seems to have gotten off of everything but marijuana but now he has trouble thinking straight and thinks people are out to kill him and that our family is conspiring against him. He is constantly yelling in the house for no reason and if anyone tries to calm him down he gets really mad and usually throws things around. Its like hes a little kid. the worst is when he screams at my mom and makes her cry or when he beats on his door with a hammer to get his frustrations out. i try talking to him all the time but his defense is “you just dont get what im going through so whatever you say doesnt matter.” he also says he doesnt want to change or get off marijuana. during counseling he fakes like he’s ok and off drugs and everything is normal, but once he gets home he’s back to his tantrums. what should we tell him?what should we do?any advice?
Best answer:
Answer by moocowmurphy
REHAB. that’s the only thing that can work, here. and i don’t mean once a day counseling, i mean a live-in, 24 hour supervision rehab center. you can’t help him, trust me. there’s no way. the only thing you can do is stonewall him until he chills out once he’s done coming down– and this can take up to a month. so if you can’t stand it anymore, rehab is the answer, but if that’s not an option, the only thing to do is just ignore him until every last vestige of addiction is gone from his system.
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Have your parents call your counselor and tell him/her about the paranoia (thinking people are out to get him). Your counselor needs this information. Your brother may need more help than the counselor can provide, at which point he/she will refer your brother to the appropriate professionals. He may even require hospitalization for a time.
Please do not delay in this. Your brother is not seeing reality clearly and may become a danger to himself or your family.
Rehab is the best option but if he refuses and your family isn’t willing to mandate him to go look into some local AA or NA meetings. Bring him to make sure he goes so he can meet some people who have been down this road. Once he sits through a couple of meetings he will see he is not alone and be with some people who do get it. They wont put up with his bullshit but they will teach him to love himself. The best thing for you and your parents is Al-Anon or Narc-Anon, they teach you all about the addict and alcoholic and teach you how to deal and how not to enable him or fall for the tactics that addicts use. You all have a rough road ahead of you but their is hope. I strongly suggest you all attend at least one meeting to get your feet wet so to speak. However, rehab is still the best option.
My brother also has drug issues. If you can get him into rehab, do it. My brother has tried a few times, and has failed each time. But it can take 100 times of trying to quit before it actually happens. I understand rehab isn’t always an option though. It’s expensive, and often not available. You can’t do much, to be honest with you. Be there for him if he wants to talk. Drugs are so strong, and he’s right, we don’t know what they are going through so we can’t really help. It’s a sad situation to be in, and I’m sorry there isn’t much you can do. Just love him and be there for him. And make sure he knows that you do love him, even if he isn’t the brother you used to know. It’s hard to love them when they are spazzing or being jerks, but remember that’s the drugs making him a demon, not your brother. He’s not doing this by choice.
Get professional help for your brother immediately.
He might be just acting out — addicts will do a lot of strange things to get attention and to have excuses to use. Or maybe he’s really have serious mental problems.
It doesn’t really matter… he’s not functioning and he needs some sort of intervention (rehab, hospitalization, etc.) so he is not a danger to himself or others. Please find a professional and ask for help. Best wishes.
I don’t have any experience in this area, I just wanted to comment that the experiences and compassion shared in the other answers makes me cry. God bless you all. And I pray that God gives you the strength you need to cope with situation on behalf of your precious little brother.
Your brother is still under age, so your parents still have the legal right to have him placed in a residential (live in) treatment/rehab center. URGE them to do it now before he is 18, because when he turns 18, he will be able to check himself out of any rehab center, and will not be mandated to attend treatment or counseling.
It is going to be hard, but it is tough love. It has to be. He is not motivated to change, and he has been manipulative (most addicts are). If your family enables his behavior, it will continue, it will intensify, and eventually someone will get hurt, physically, emotionally or both. The decision has to be made and the family has to stand firm. If he relapses, the tough love has to continue. By forgiving and forgetting, the family allows the cycle to continue – instead, the family needs to say we love you too much to let you hurt yourself any more, so you are GOING to get help and you are going to keep at it until you are OFF the drugs and are OK.
It sounds like more is going on than just the drug use; he sounds as if he has some psychological issues that need to be dealt with as well, and he may possibly need medication as well as therapy. Get him into a residential facility now where they can evaluate his psychological and emotional health, and begin intensive counseling, group therapy and possibly medication regulation as well. Do it before he is old enough to say “no!”
Good Luck
sounds like he needs to be in REHAB for a while, even if he doesnt want to go its for his own good
I worked in a drug rehab and he needs to go. While he is still 17 your parents are the ones responsible for him and need to check him into a residential 24/7 rehab that he can’t leave. He’s too young too check himself out so he’d be stuck there. Might piss him off at first but hopefully with hearing others that have been there he will realize what he’s doing. Show your mom all the above answers and she needs to find him a rehab and NOW while there’s hope. Once he turns 18 she can’t make him go and if he’s in denial he’ll never go. My cousin died of a crack overdose…….I promise you it’s not pretty.