Question by Ariah: What to do when your life cant get any worse at 15!?
im 15 years old. i will be 16 in less than a month.
ive been in the court system since i was 14.
i was locked up for 8 months in juvenile detention and 2 programs.
ive been to detention a lot, i have lots of charges.. 15 misdemeanors.
im facing my second felony in court on march 18th.
im fat and ugly… my family cant afford counseling or medication for depression and A.D.D.
I was kicked out of my high school and its the only high school within 60 miles of where i live.
i started doing drugs at 13 and have tried just about anything, i will do anything i can get, my current addiction is cough medicine, pain pills, sex, meth, weed, and cigarettes. the only love i ever had cheated on me and played mind games and abused me. my dad is abusive and addicted to meth, verbally and so is my mom. the only person i could trust is my sister and she is addicted to pain pills BAD and she is slowly dying. i have a brother with aids and addicted to heroin. i have had sex with 4-5 guys with no relationships trying to get pregnant, no protection. at least 10 guys more than 10 times each I cut myself, and you can say its for attention all you want, but i will only do it when i get yelled at, it calms me down, and punching walls… i have always had trouble making friends, partly because i cant control my actions or what comes out of my mouth. i’m a compulsive liar to my parents.. they offen tell me what a waste of a person i am, how i eat too much, how i wont ever get anywhere… i grew up in a home where my dad was never home and i never heard “i love you” (im in tears just from typing that) i drink whenever i can and i always end up drinking too much, that i pass out of have sex with someone and not remember it. i’m a thief. i steal money from anyone. i steal cough medicine from the stores. ive overdosed a lot on it. i have a very ugly face and everything about me is pretty much unlovable. the only people that hang out with me are people who do bad things “sometimes” and im the kind of person that is always doing bad things. lots of people in this small town hate me, and ever since i was in kindergarten some kids my age were told to stay away from me… i will do anything for acceptance and im addicted to the feeling of being able to say “ive done that before” idk what to do and your probably not going to answer this now because i sound like a horrible person.. oh well go ahead tell me how im wasting this world’s oxygen.
or you can give me some support or advice?
I have such low self esteem that ive been experimenting with anorexia since i was very little, and lately ive been throwing up every single meal, purposely, for almost 2 weeks
the last grade i ACTUALLY PASSED was 6th grade.
when i was 14, right before i got locked up i was raped and while i was locked up i got a call and they told me “the guy that raped me left town and possibly went back to mexico” he was a mexican….. it was eating me alive while i was locked up and its getting worse over time. sometimes i cant sleep, i have dreams, and i cry whenever i think about it…
whats even worse is that my probation officer told me that on my court date on March 18th she is going to recommend that i be put in community placement.. like a foster home…… im so scared i dont know what to do! HELP? please
Best answer:
Answer by Naguru
I would like to pray.
Add your own answer in the comments!
?? you seem like a pretty smart girl.. u have answered yourself many times in your question. i congradulate you for being smarter than your average girl your age. you know exactly where u stand : you acknowledge you made bad decisions, you are aware you come from disfonctionnal family, you know as a fact you are experciencing things prematurly ( sex, notion of getting prego,..)
seriously, you are smart. but made bad decisions. you seems to know what would be the right ones. but dont do it. why?? im sure you know the answer. i dont.
put it this way, u hit rock bottom at your young age, well from now on ,make the right ones. you have a long long long life in front of you. i swear its never to late to start a new life. but u know this.
take care,
you are loved
xxx
I promise promise promise you’ll make it through this period and it will all simply be a memory, as you get older, your brain will develop even more and you will grow as a person, you’ll look back and you’ll say, wow i felt so much different then then i do now, you can definitely have the life you want, just remember your troubles can never overtake your life, even if it feels like they are, keep your head up, you’ve been through a lot and you will be stronger, more compassionate and wiser for it : )
alrighty you deflinitely messed up your life and a HUGE part of your future. get yourself admitted to a mental hospital and realize what real crazy is. just did that myself last week as a matter of fact. though you’ll be in there a lot longer and probly get lots of help. and meds. by the time you get out you should be a whole new (medicated) person and hopefully be fixed
biggest thing to realize is that life can always get worse as easily as it can get better. life is what you make it so try not to do too many stupid things or your life WILL be over
You need to try to live wholesome. Clean up your act, and stay away from trouble. Invest your time into your education, because if you want to live any kind of life you need to have good grades.
Stop hating yourself so much. I don’t know if you hang around people that make you feel bad about yourself, but you should consider not paying attention to such judgments, and learn to accept the things you can’t change about yourself.
Now is the time for change, become something you want to become, not something you are going to regret, and be miserable living with. Perseverance, and determination, will get you were you want to go. Have a goal, and go after it. Stay away from bad influences, including music and television that will rot your brain like its made to do.
Wow Ariah,That is a lot to deal with.These two CDs are the beginning of the answer for you,found at Borders book store or on line By Bob griswold.
1) conquering Fears & Anxiety + Peace of Mind
2)Letting Go of the past + Up From Depression
These two program CDs work wonders for many of troubled minds and I hope your parents can afford $30.00 + tax to buy both of them for you because by now you need them.Save this message so if you go to jail you can get them when you are free again.Best of luck to you in this time of decision.I will pray for you.
from your pic, you have really pretty shiny hair….just saying. I think you need a good friend would would actually help you out and not do the things…that you do, its really stupid though i can see why you do it, but still, its dubm, but you can get over it, you really need to pray. If you dont stop w/e you are doing, you might some day soon be found dead in the forest or siucid or something.
mail me anytime if you want a friend :)
p.s. just so you know, i didnt do that kinda stuff but i can still help