Question by Invisible Pink RN (Justice for Caylee): My fellow Atheist friends I need some suggestions on how to handle this?
OK so as some of you may or may not know I am an addict that is in recovery from pain killers, back in my cancer fighting days they became my best friend that I just couldn’t live without; even after my bout with that horrible disease was beat.
Anywho, in my journey to beat this addiction I sought out the help of Narcotic’s Anonymous. This program changed and saved my life it really did.
However I did it the less conventional manner, without “God” as my “higher power” and since then have been clean for the last 4yrs or so. I relied on the program and their “principles” if you will.
Anywho, there is this one member of my “home group” that every single week that I see him absolutely insists that I must believe in “God” or I wouldn’t have been able to stay clean and sober for as long as I have. Obviously I beg to differ as I am testimony that it CAN be done.
We’ve even had the “why is that tree in that spot, at this time” conversation, I tell you hes quite tiring. So on to my question I know this long and I do apologize…
How can I make a convincing argument that I don’t believe, and don’t want to believe, I used the whole Santa Claus argument etc..and he just keeps coming at me I just want it to stop. I love him and the other people that go there and have attended many functions such as camp outings etc..but he won’t stop badgering me!
I’ve asked him to please stop, don’t want the conversation blah blah blah, but hes convinced he can make me see the light!
How can I make him see the “light” to just let it be, this has been on going for the last year or so?
Suggested Category > Society & Culture > Cultures & Groups > Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered LMFAO!
@ Zev ~ I’m completely aware of what the program asks, I’ve been a part of it for 4yrs and have worked all 12 steps twice now..
Just not with God as my “HP”
You guys are so awesome!
Best answer:
Answer by GetaBrain
Eeek, sounds bad. How about:
“God made me an atheist – who are you to question his decision?”
Feeble I know. Some people really just don’t take “no” for an answer. Hope you get a better response than mine, and well done on 4 years clean.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
just ask him to respect you and the fact that you don’t want to believe in a god. don’t try to explain why you are an atheist. don’t use arguments to try to disprove god or whatever.
just tell him to respect your decision.
if he cant do that, just say “yeah ok i believe now, you’ve convinced me”.
Normally I hate fighting fire with fire, but maybe you should start badgering him to convince you that he does believe in god. And continue to refuse to acknowledge that he does believe in god and keep asking for evidence that he does believe.
Hopefully, he’ll understand your point of view after a while. Or at least give up.
EDIT
And congratulations on your mastery of will power. :)
It offered to put this in the LGBT section? Interesting o.o;
Anyway, just go up to him, look him square in the eye, and say, “I don’t need an excuse to help people. I don’t need an excuse to help myself. I don’t need an excuse to live. I don’t need an excuse to do good things. You do. You need a God to tell you to do those things. I chose to do things on my own free will. If you want me to be selfish and make me feel that I -have- to have a reason, you’re just sad.”
How can you be anonymous and have a name, like god or whatever. Try that argument.
Firstly, well done unicorn for beating 2 MAJOR difficulties in your life! Brilliant news.
If someone does not respond to what you say, I don’t know of any argument that will dissuade them. But saying you can’t talk to them any more because of this or cutting off a conversation will speak volumes. But you probably won’t be on speaking terms with them again, and you won’t be able to convince them that you are right.
Impassionately. Getting upset and frustrated at him only makes him think you must be struggling with your inner doubts (they always think that – it never occurs to them that they’re just really, really annoying and frustrating). Everytime he brings it up, just say “I’m happy to be your friend, but it hurts me that you don’t respect my outlook in this area. We can change the subject now, or you can leave.”
If you really don’t want to bothered, just drop the relationship……. find someone else that believes in nothing.
Making a religious zealot see the light or stop pushing their beliefs on you may never happen.
As for 12-step programs, I’m glad it helped you. I do think it’s unfortunate they have not changed since the early days of their founds and have not kept up with counseling practices. These programs could be so much better and in some circumstances their lack of being up to date causes many issues.
One example is that these programs all say you don’t have control and need to turn to God. In reality this is the opposite of most modern day couseling which makes it clear that only you can make change. Nobody else can make you stop your behavior. In the end this is what everyone does even the 12-step program people. They decide to make change. Nobody makes the change for them.
Ask him if he’s ever had a telemarketer call him over and over during dinner. If he has, ask him if the telemarketer ever convinced him to purchase the product. If he didn’t, he may relay to you that he was quite upset with the telemarketer and may have even been pushed to never consider the product. Explain to him that he is the telemarketer. Explain to him that his constant badgering is having the opposite effect on you, and is pushing you further away from God. Tell him that your relationship with god is personal, and you’ll take his words into consideration, but would appreciate it if he let YOU come to HIM if you saw fit, rather than being hounded about it. It should set him straight if his heart’s in the right place. I’m a Deist by the way, and fought as an atheist and agnostic for years.
I am not an Atheist, but I am also not a christian. I can feel for you though, some christians just don’t understand that there are other beliefs besides theirs. It sounds to me that you have tried most of the things I usually do. Have you asked him if you two can just agree to disagree??
I hope that you resolve this before he drives you crazy. Good luck.
I don’t normally advocate being nasty to people, but if I were you I would just tell this guy to shove it already. You are focusing on making your life better. That should be enough.You don’t need the unnecessary added stress.
I’m sorry that your friend is a bit too concerned, but just remember he cares for you. May be you should talk to him about this.
God stiil sends rain down on both Christians and non-christians.
The first poster said it..
Just to get HIM to understand, use the ”god works in mysterrious ways” deal and he made you disbeliever
Maybe he could grasp on that?
If not, you are doomed
Or, try to talk to someone from your group, whom he respects and perhaps that person can talk some sense to him?
It’s disrespectful of him to continue on like that after you’ve asked him to stop.
1 Peter 2:17
Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king.
1 Peter 2:16-18 (in Context) 1 Peter 2 (Whole Chapter)
As a person who has been raised around Christianity my whole life…I feel really sorry that your being treated that way. I personally… do believe in God…but that’s where it ends. I totally hate people who try to force they’re beliefs on others…even when its the other way around…I don’t like people telling me that there is no God. I feel your the correct one in the matter…in my beliefs we all have free will… we all make OUR OWN decisions… You CHOSE to do right…and you did it by yourself so props to you…as for the person who is pushing beliefs on you…i would consider just telling them that as much as you respect them….they must let you have your own opinions…and if they can’t do that..then ignore them altogether lol.
You don’t owe the guy an explanation. You can have a stapler as a higher power if you want as long as it works. The whole idea behind it is to *let go* of trying to control something that isn’t manageable. It’s all about the control and some people can’t figure that out so they plug in the word “god”. I’m sure you know all about this. You could explain to him how the whole concept behind AA or NA can be applied to
Buddhist principles as well or poly-theistic religions.
Try to make clear the separation between what he’s doing to you and the meetings. He may be confused and think he’s assisting in your recovery or maybe his own by doing what he’s doing when really he’s just pestering you like a Jehovah witness at the door for dinner.
Me, personally? I would tell him to shut the fuck up. I mean, after politely disagreeing with him a few times and telling him I didn’t see the point in having the discussion any longer.
And after telling him to shut the fuck up, I would begin humiliating him at every possible occasion. I would point out that the Christians’ own bible says that if someone rejects their message, they should just dust their feet off and be on their way to someone more receptive. I would point out how socially inept it is of someone to try to proselytize someone who has no interest in being proselytized. I would loudly ask how other people in the group would like it if someone repreatedly and insensitively tried to persuade them over to a contrary philosophical position. And I would call him ‘rude’ and an ‘idiot.’
But that’s just me.