Effective Drug Rehabilitation

Question by Dani: just needing some direction in how I am feeling about this.?
My sister and I were adopted out to 2 different families. We were taken from our mother at ages 4(me) and 2(sis). I remember alot of horrible things from my childhood. I remember actually trying to convince my little sister that uncooked lasagne noodles were cookies just to get her to eat because she was severely malnourished. I have always been very protective of her and malternal towards her. I had to be. My sister and I have gone our seperate ways. I am 26 in a stable relationship, job and a 7 year old son. My sister is 25 just got work, but not steady, former meth addict, trying to have a relationship with a guy in prison, and has 3 kids. Recently child services removed her kids from her due to their poor environment and my lil sister alleged drug abuse. She started out fighting for them. Got a job, and was in the process of getting her own place and car. She was getting counseling and moving in the right direction.
Yesterday I recieved a message on myspace from her letting me know that she decided to give her kids up for adoption. She was too young and it is too much for her to handle and NOW she wants to do the right thing. She said that she is lucky because she can still have kids when the time is right. I cant get this out of my mind. I have been extremely depressed and upset. I dont understand how having been what we had been through she can repeat the same mistakes. I cant believe that she says that she would consider having more children after this. I am devastated. There is a long list of biological people I will never meet, and she just added 3 more to it. I want whats best for the kids, but I feel so torn and hurt right now. How the hell could she do this when she knows how it felt and how it still affects the both of us today. I seriously feel like I am going to go crazy and start throwing things becausze I am so hurt. Am I wrong to feel this way?

Best answer:

Answer by fi ♠
you are not wrong to feel the way you do at all

in your own situation, you were the protecter, the parent, the provider etc and she was too young to understand life should have been different, this made you stronger and more determined to succeed, and you have, your sister has perpetuated the cycle, as is often the case, and so her reaction is as normal as yours, not often do children from this background rise and succeed as you have,

what to do about it? i do not know, you cannot force her to be a mother to her children and maybe they would be better off with a family who want them, its sad she sees them in the way she does, most mothers cannot imagine feeling this way, but by saying she could still have more later on says she has already detached from them, so very sad

i dont know how to finish this really, i agree with you completely, but you cannot force her to be a mother at all, let alone a good one these children deserve

i hope you find peace

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