Question by tmbteb: Anyone in recovery from alcohol and drugs?
Being that I’ve spent most of my life running, evading, and self-destructing, how does one learn to form real relationships with others? If I never learned how to trust anything or anyone, how do I learn how to become a friend or allow someone in my world? I have been sober 5 years and I still live in a box. Any suggestions?
Best answer:
Answer by newpollution24
for now on, of course stay sober. but also think about what YOU want out of life. choose your friends wisely. they will influence you good or bad depending on who you pick. you can introduce yoruself to anyone. they don’t know your hisory and they don’t have to unless you want to speak to them about it. get out there and start chattin.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
I have been sober 11 years now, I still have trouble trusting people, but I do it anyway I purposely go against myself because I can’t waste my life living in the past or holding on to old habits or attitude, it doesn’t work, the best thing to do is just do what you never thought you would do even if it’s something you feel you can’t, your spinning your wheels and going no where, just step out of your box and stay out. Best of luck to you.
Over a period of time your trust can be built with repeated positive experiences. You need to try to offer your trust and allow people to rise to it – to prove to you that they are worthy of your trust.
Good luck.
five years, that’s great!I was sober for two and have been struggling this past year.people that have gone Thur this know how hard that is,do you feel alienated like you don’t fit in?i started going to church after quitting and i don’t fit in there,but Christ has taught me a lot about love and people.Most people have their own way of doing things but you can learn a lot from one another.When you accept people the way they are something draws them to you.we all need understanding and acceptance.encourage those around you . What you have been through ,can lighten the path for some one who is lost and on the destructive path.
If I remember correctly, it was at about 5 years where I realized the answer to your question is found in the 12 steps. They not only help you to get sober, and stay sober but give a new way of living life. LGLG.
Attend meetings, and join the Alano club is a good start, talk with people there, remember they will hear what you are saying. Hope you will do this, you are not alone. Check 11 and 12 for additional guidance.
I dont know if you’re already involved in AA or NA or Ala-Non, but those are places to start to learn about making new relationships. I’ve been told for half my life that I should attend Ala-Non or Ala-Teen meetings, and I’ve constantly rolled my eyes and never thought about it twice. But … I am in counseling. I think the best way to learn to trust … is to take the risk and just do it. Sometimes you have to make a leap of faith and just go for it. And you might get hurt or rejected, but know that its not your fault. You took a chance and thats all anyone can expect from you. Being a friend isnt so hard, either. All a friend is is someone you can laugh with, cry with and bullshit with. You just have to remember that you are not alone in what you feel. And no matter how bad you think your life is, somewhere out there, someone has it worse. Thats kinda what makes a good friend; someone who knows its not all about them and someone who also knows it can always be worse! Keep your chin up and go out there and be happy. Thats really all that is important in your life … your happiness!