Question by Red Ant: We are going to confront (kindly) our drug-addicted sister tonight. Do you know any right words?
The 51 year old “little” sister has been a drug addict since high school. Her husband of 27 years gave up and they are getting divorced (not that he was any angel). The little sister recently had back surgery (doc did a great job), and she is not doing exercises or anything to help herself. She has used the situation (although extreme) to get drugs first, attention second, and was hoping someone would take care of her afterward for the rest of her life. That is not happening.
She has sent us to the pharmacy to refill muscle relaxers, Hydrocodone, and God knows what else — only to be told it’s too soon for a refill. In other words, she’s as much a drug user now as ever before. She pulled attempted suicide a year and 1/2 ago. We weren’t amused, but we can’t live her life for her, be her mother, or whatever else it is she doesn’t want to do.
My other sane sister and I are going over to her apartment tonight to drop off Narcotics Anonymous material and tell her the same thing my brother and wife told her, “We love you, but you have to quit doing this. We can’t be your Saviour, you have to clean up and care about your life.”
Besides dropping off the NA material (which is wonderful), what can my sister and I say to her that could possibly get her out of her SELF, SELF, SELF, SELF, SELF, SELF ????
I’m just sick of this, but can’t quit if little sister is going to hang suicide over our heads again. Thank you for any replies.
Best answer:
Answer by faith..hope..charity..
Jesus can and Will take away her drug addiction. She has to believe in Him first…and trust in Him that He will. He did it for me. Maybe tell her this. Pray with her…Help her find a nice non denominational church she can worship in.
Add your own answer in the comments!
PLEASE, whatever you all do, do not get angry. Keep telling her you love her and miss the sister you remember. That you want to help her but you cannot watch her continue to do this to herself. The best way is for each member of the family to write her a letter and all together sit with her ( and a professional mediator who specializes in interventions) and read them to her. If she still refuses to go to treatment, then you are right, there is nothing you can do to force her. It’s hard but you have to stick by your decision to stay out of her life. Good luck to you all and I will keep you in my prayers.
she is not going to change if she doesn’t want to no matter how much you talk to her or information for help groups you give her. sorry but it is the honest to gods truth and the only thing you can really do is when she wants you to go get her the drugs tell her no and if she wants them she will get them herself. which i know i didn’t answer your question it is just the truth. i used to be addicted to drugs as a teenager but i am 22 now and since i was 18 i have been clean not because of anyone trying to help me but because i wanted to help myself.
51 years old? If that’s not a typo, then frankly, it’s a bit late.
What’s the point of her existence? None. If this is how she is now, she’s only got 25ish years left and they are going to be exactly the same as the previous 25 years, or worse, as old age kicks in.
I’m guessing she’s at least been addicted to heroin or crack? I’m surprised she’s not dead already. To be honest, if she wants to suicide, I’d let her. She doesn’t really have any life left.
Bob
I think you have, or will have done about as much as you can do. As Dr. Phil would say, you have to give yourself permission to NOT feel responsible, in any way, if she continues to ignore helpful and loving advice and actually comitts the ultimate act of selfishness; suicide.
You might want to check some of the following sites:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/drug_substance_abuse_addiction_signs_effects_treatment.htm
http://drphil.com/shows/show/1157/
http://www.oprah.com/search.jsp?query=drug+addiction&resultsPerPage=20&sortBy=Relevancy&filterType=&filterBy=&page=1