Question by alovenfeeling: I have to pay child support while having sole custody?
My ex got into meth, so I was awarded sole custody. They didn’t order her to pay child support. The judge said it was bad enough losing her children, and with supervised visitation, making her pay would only make it harder on her. Well, she entered rehab, than after getting out, stayed in a women’s shelter for a while. They provided her with legal counsel to file for unsupervised.
The judge gave it to her because she had completed rehab. But, because she wasn’t working, I was ordered to pay child support so that she could get her own place. The shelter attorney called it a rebuttable argument that allows for a child support order outside the normal guidelines. As a result, I have to pay, even though I pay for everything for my kids. I’ve tried to appeal, even getting a different attorney, only to lose, while she gets free legal help. I asked the judge what if I refuse to pay? She said I could go to jail and lose custody of my kids. My attorney says it’s common for fathers with custody to still have to pay child support whenever the mother makes less money. I guess it’s the price we have to pay as men for working good paying juobs that women will not even apply for. I’m a miner.
Now there’s no extras. No going to the movies, going to the fair, and certainly no extracurricular activities after school. I can’t afford them. We would occasionally drive over to DC on weekends to wander, or see the Cherry Blossoms, but we’ll never do that again. No money for gas.
Best answer:
Answer by melissakurtz04
i am sorry to hear about ur situation.
What do you think? Answer below!
You can make it a pain in the ass if you want and give her a hard time until she gets the money. Make her wait or stop allowing her to see the kids until she drops the child support issue. There’s no law saying you have to play nice with her….you can be as mean and as cruel as you want….make her feel like a total loser, eventually she’ll get tired of dealing with you and she will get up off her ass and support herself!!!
Stinks doesn’t it. I have no solution because I see other guys in the same solution. Be grateful you have your children…….and let it go at that.
You need a better attorney. That doesn’t sound right that you are paying child support while you have custody of the kids…….unless you owed back child support while they were living with her?
You need to write the organization that helps fathers who are being screwed.
And you sir, are getting screwed. I will try and find out the name of that organization and pass along the information.
The family court are biased against men.
If the situation was reversed you would be in jail for non-payment.
Your lucky my friend has two children that wouldn’t know there mother if she walk through the door(12 and 14) and he PAYS child support to her!
Once the court made a mistake and issued a warrant for non-payment of support(he wasn’t behind at all). The police picked him up at work(embarrassing) As he was living at my house I came home to find his kids alone waiting for their dad. I brought them to the courthouse just as he was being escorted out in handcuffs. The kids freaked out and the oldest called the female judge a man hating lesbian bitch.(true but not a good idea) She almost held him in contempt until she realized he was just a kid.
You need to find a better attorney and continue to appeal this case to a higher Court.
You might discuss with your attorney about moving to a different state or county.
you need to consult with a mens/fathers rights attorney.. not a divorce attorney..
this is not the norm.. she is/was a junkie and normal judges like to toss them in the gutter where they belong.
you have something here that is not right..something you need to tell me, or you just got a royal F’ing for no reason?
fathers get sole custody all day long…and do not pay child support.
child support is just that, support of the child. not support the ex heroin/meth/coke addict.
Unfortunately, these are not uncommon, and in 20 years, I have yet to see one overturned, unless the mother does get a much better paying job. And even then, all that happens is the father’s child support payments are stopped. He doesn’t get awarded child support, but I’ve never seen a case of it on the east coast. They are usually in California, where the child support guidelines are very complicated, as noted by just looking at their online calculator. They even require the entry of any income by a second spouse or S/O.
This is one of the negatives in using the argument the attorney present. It’s actually called a Rebuttable Presumption argument, and can also be used to pay less than the guideline rates. It just comes down to which attorney can present the best argument to the court, but most attorneys do not even know about it, let alone how to argue it.
I can’t say what to recommend. You might consider contacting Glenn Sacks at Fathers & Families. He has a weekly radio show and may want to interview you.
http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/
\\\\\\\\\
This is rubbish; the non-custodial parent pays the custodial parent.
You might have to pay her alimony if it was a long marriage and she needs money to get on her feet.